Thanksgiving is nine days away, and in related news, it’s Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. Was it started by a refrigerator company? Maybe – Whirlpool did some marketing about it in the 1990’s. When it started going mainstream, the 15^th of November is the date that was attached to it, so today it is...

Would you like to know how you can be a more compassionate person?

Would you be thrilled to learn that you can become more compassionate in the privacy of your own life, without having to go anywhere or learn something new and complex or even break a sweat?

And would you be chomping at the bit if ...

Are there people who just suck the life out of you? They need more from you than you have to give, or they don’t value the time the constantly want from you?

Time to set a boundary with those people.

Because every situation is unique, every boundary is unique. Get creative on how you can only give...

Do you feel stuck right now?

Maybe there’s something you want to do and you can’t see a way to do it? It’s easy to ruminate on the “how” instead of imagine the “why.”

When you find yourself feeling stressed out about how you’re going to accomplish something, stop. Think about why that thing needs ...

Do you know your purpose in life?

We’re raised to be goal-oriented and success-oriented and driven to achieve, and yet that has nothing to do with our purpose.

Our purpose is to help and to love.

Our purpose is to smile at a stranger, carry grocery bags for someone on crutches, save a stray dog, ...

Do you know someone who harms themselves? Maybe a friend or co-worker has an eating disorder or cuts themselves or cuts themselves down all the time.

People who do harm to themselves are in need of professional help, and you can help them get it. When your friend or co-worker expresses their proble...

Are you a confident person? Just what is confidence, anyway?

Confidence is a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something, according to Merriam-Webster. Confidence tends to grow with age, because we gain more perspective about whether we can do something well and about w...

Have you ever heard the phrase “it takes two to tango?” Well, it takes two to argue, as well.

When you find yourself having to deal with an angry client, give them plenty of time to vent. Let them pour out their irritation until they have nothing else to say. When they’re quiet, maybe even take a b...

It’s the Tuesday after the first Monday in November, which means it’s Election Day in the United States. Did you ever wonder about how the whole “Tuesday after the first Monday” thing happened? Yes? Here you go…

In 1792, each state was allowed to set its own election Tuesday, so long as it happened...

Prepare yourself – good things will happen to you today. Seriously – prepare yourself for the good things that will happen so you can enjoy them when they do. Some of those good things might be seeing a little child delight in skipping beside her mom, holding hands. Maybe it will be seeing two birds...

Do you feel like you’re not strong enough? Like everyone else sails through their day untouched and the stumbling blocks litter your path? 

I remember feeling totally lost when I was downsized from a job. It was beyond sad – I felt like it was an indictment of my abilities, my talents and my very b...

A million years ago I broke up with a guy. He wasn’t right for me, and even in my teenagerness, somehow I knew I deserved better. It was hard – I tried to be kind and he wasn’t receptive, so when I had said all I could say and turned to leave, he kicked me in the butt.

Seriously!

At the time it fe...

Did you make a mistake yesterday? Welcome to the human race – we all do.

Maybe yours was a bigger-than-average mistake – how did you feel? Did the voice inside your head chime in with their opinion? And if you’re thinking, “I don’t have a voice inside my head,” that’s the voice inside your head say...

Have you heard the old saying, “Silence is golden?” There’s sooooo much truth to that.

When someone says something that makes you feel defensive, be silent.
When someone is rude to you, be silent.
When someone is argumentative, be silent.

If it’s tough not to open your mouth, think now of somethin...

Do you believe that everyone you meet can teach you something? I love going through my day wondering who I’ll meet and what I’ll learn. Sure, it sounds nerdy and weird to some people – leaving myself open to learning from others means that I’m paying attention to the people around me.

I spent about...

Today is National Author’s Day, and it’s OK if you didn’t know that this holiday exists. It’s been around since the 1930’s and is a way to celebrate those people who use words to move, inspire and educate their readers. Every author has a different process for writing their books, from staring at a ...

Do you care about someone who seems to self-sabotage? Maybe they’re a co-worker or employee, or maybe they’re a family member or a friend.

You, as a caring person, want to help them. You, as a caring person, might help out in every way you can think of, only to see that person make the same poor ch...

There’s a lot of wisdom in some poems. Robert Browning included a very powerful line in his poem Ixion – “Out of the wreck, I rise.”

That declaration of invincibility could sound arrogant to some – I see it as a testament to resilience. When something not optimal happens, those words help me put it...

Human beings are creatures of habit. Have you ever watched helplessly as your best friend picked the same kind of bad-for-her relationship partner, over and over?

That happens because we’re innately drawn to patterns of behavior that fit a pattern we’re used to. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good pat...

Should is a punishment.

There, I said it – when you should on yourself or when others should on you, punishment is involved. When you say, “I should have gone to the gym today,” you’re wagging an imaginary finger at yourself, blaming yourself for laziness or distractedness or an inability to manage...

When you feel fear, remember that on the other side of the fear is a dream.

In that moment of fear, ask yourself what you want. If you’re afraid you don’t have enough money, the dream is to have plenty of it. If you’re afraid your partner doesn’t love you anymore, the dream is that your love is as ...

In a magazine interview from 1968, genius filmmaker Stanley Kubrik said, “However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.”

He was talking about life and the transformation of attitudes from childhood into adulthood, and about how we as humans make the choice to either become embittered by ...

Loss is inevitable. Everything that lives eventually stops living – no exceptions to that have been discovered on Planet Earth yet.

Loss is inevitable, so why does it sometimes feel so personal?

“If I’d taken better care of my dog she would have lived longer.”
“If I’d remembered to water more ofte...

Can you ignore someone’s poor behavior?
How about ignoring someone’s annoying behavior?

When you learn to ignore things that ordinarily set you off, you’re learning to create your own inner peace. When you allow someone else’s behavior to dictate yours, you’ve forgotten how to create your own inner...

Sometimes it’s really tough to ask for help.

Maybe you’re having to ask the same question you’ve asked before.
Maybe the person you need help from intimidates you a little bit.
Maybe you feel like you should be able to handle everything and shouldn’t have to ask for help.

Ask anyway.

When you all...

John W. Gardner was the Secretary of Health Education and Welfare in the 1960’s, and in a speech he said, “No matter how hard you try to please, some people in this world are not going to love you – a lesson that is at first troubling and then really quite relaxing.”

How could not being able to ple...

Just because you’re related to them, it doesn’t mean they can run rough-shod all over you.

Do you have a family member who violates your boundaries? Ask yourself, “would I accept this kind of behavior from a client?” If the answer is no, then don’t accept it from a relative either.

Don’t allow any...

Resiliency is a muscle you can build.

It’s the ability to adapt to new situations. You’ve done that your whole life.

Resiliency is gracefully letting go of the things you can’t control. OK, for most of us, this one is a bit harder, and when you learn to let go you’ll feel the wisdom and peace of i...

Your words are powerful.

People count on your words to know what you’re feeling, know what they’re supposed to do if you're their leader, know what they’re supposed to do if you're their family member or house-mate – the list goes on.

Words are powerful, so choose them carefully. When you hurt som...

Getting angry at team members who make mistakes only teaches them to hide their mistakes.

I’m not telling you to never get angry again – we’re human and have a full range of emotions that we’re supposed to feel and use. It’s good to remember how those emotions feel to others, and how our behavior c...

Do you worry about what others think of you, your abilities and your actions?

Sure, we want people to love us and approve of us and appreciate us, and it feels wonderful when they do. As a matter of fact, the approval of others gives us a shot of oxytocin, the hormone that promotes connectedness an...

How do you feel about a liar?

What if I told you that most of the time, someone who lies to you has decent motives for it – would you feel better about that person?

Think about a time in your life when you told a lie – didn’t you do it to make the other person feel better than they would have felt...

Gratitude is different than appreciation.
Nice is different than good.
Right is different than fair.

And words intended to solve a problem can be the very way a problem gets way out of hand.

Those three sets of words – gratitude and appreciation, nice and good, right and fair – are often used as...

Did your parents encourage you to learn from your mistakes? Mine did, and that’s good advice. Unfortunately, sometimes I got in trouble for making mistakes, which taught me how to deny them.

It’s hard to learn from mistakes you’re not owning up to, so if you learned the same lessons from your paren...

How do you feel when something or someone you wanted doesn’t become yours? Maybe it was a new work situation, a new house or even a new spouse?

Well, that question seems stupid, doesn’t it?

Rejection hurts. Rejection is disappointing. And then there’s this - rejection is good because it shows you ...

When you believe you’re beautiful, you are.
When you believe you’re worthy, you are.
When you believe you can do it, you can.

This isn’t just psycho-babble from some happiness nut, it’s grounded in neuroscience and human behavior. You probably know at least one person whose looks are fairly average...

It is SO easy to focus on what’s wrong. We’re taught to focus on a problem in order to find a solution, and that’s a fine way to go about solving issues in your own life.

When you take that intelligence and intuitive knowing that you have for yourself and your own life and try to impose it on the l...

Oh, new love – is there any better feeling than that?

The reason love feels so good is that we are choosing to see the best in the other person and daydreaming of how wonderful the next meeting will be. That’s easy to do when love is new, and tougher the longer you’ve been exposed to the not-so-bes...

Maya Angelou said, “Remember – every storm runs out of rain.”

How many literal rainstorms have happened during your lifetime? Hundreds? Thousands?

The only way the number could be that high is because each storm subsided and the sun came out.

That’s a literal version of what happens in life emoti...

Everything is beautiful. Everything. It’s up to you to look at in a way that highlights its beauty, not its flaws.

Every neighborhood has that one yard filled with dandelions, threatening to scatter their floating seeds all over everyone else’s pristine lawns.

If you have one of the pristine lawns...

Do you find yourself evaluating the actions of others? The way they dress, talk, look?

We’re not born judgmental, yet many of us turn out that way to one degree or another.

Think about a time when you felt judged – it’s not a good feeling, is it? Maybe you even felt as if you needed to explain you...

Has someone been unkind to you today?
Has someone tried to manipulate you today?
Has someone lied to you today?

Since you’re dealing with human beings, you’ve probably experienced some level of all of those behaviors today, unless you’re reading this right after waking up.

You can’t control how ot...

Are you a team leader and want to inspire your team? There are a lot of leadership coaches who’ll tell you to always present a strong, confident face to your team.

I disagree.

Let your team see you struggle.
Let them see you fail.
Let them see you dust yourself off and try again.

Let them see you...

No one can see past their own expectations.

This is neuroscience in action – have you ever had this happen? You buy a new car and suddenly you see your car everywhere – maybe a different color, but it’s the same car you just chose. That’s your brain, reinforcing your decision to buy that car.

Ther...

How do you define yourself?

Have you ever thought of what you think of you? Take an uninterrupted 15 minutes or so and write down words you hear your brain say about you. Then see if you can find a gentler, kinder, more loving way to say the same thing.

For example, I remember sitting at the back ...

Does your brain keep chewing on something that’s outside of your ability to change?

I remember when Dad was in the final stages of Alzheimer’s and my brothers and I made the difficult decision to take away his car keys. I bought his car, and though he was OK with it at first, he came to believe tha...

Maybe you’ve heard the saying “time heals all wounds.” Maybe you’ve even had the experience of feeling better about something not-optimal after a certain amount of time has passed. And maybe you know someone who seems to never heal from their not-optimal experience.

Or maybe you are that person on ...

How do you feel when you expect a response from someone and they’re silent?

Do you feel judged? Disrespected? Small?

If so, you’ve gone to MSU – you have NO idea what they’re really thinking. You’re assuming a negative that they may not be thinking or feeling. Heck, maybe they didn’t even hear you...

Give the gift of grace, just as you’d like everyone to give you grace.

When someone doesn’t know something, give the gift of teaching without condescending.
When someone makes a mistake, give the gift of gently reminding them what a better path would have been.
When someone lashes out in anger, giv...

Over half of Americans don’t use all of their vacation time. Are you in that group?

You earned your time off, you use some of it and at the end of the year, you give some of it back. Would you give back your salary? I don’t think so, so why do you give back your sanity?

Time away from work to do s...