If Dogs Planned National Dog Week...
Sep 22, 2026
It's National Dog Week, which raises an important question: Why are humans deciding how dogs should celebrate? Surely the breeds themselves would have opinions. So if we handed over the planning committee to our dogs, here's how I suspect the festivities might go...
Golden Retriever: Invite absolutely everyone they've ever met to a gigantic picnic. Also invite everyone they haven't met yet. They're just friends we haven't sniffed.
Siberian Husky: Road trip! No particular destination. No particular route. And really…no particular need for the humans to come along.
Border Collie: Organize National Dog Week into a seven-day schedule with measurable objectives, assigned responsibilities, and a spreadsheet tracking everyone's progress. By Wednesday, the Labrador has been put on a performance improvement plan for napping on the job.
Basset Hound: Celebrate with a nap. Followed by lunch. Followed by another nap to recover from lunch.
Standard Poodle: Spa week. Bath, blow-dry, perfect topknot, pedicure—and please alert the photographer that we'll be ready at 3. No autographs, please.
Beagle: Seven days. Seven new places to sniff. Thirty-seven snacks that mysteriously disappear. One garbage can that absolutely, positively fell over by itself.
Jack Russell Terrier: Activities! ALL THE ACTIVITIES! Barn Hunt at 8. Agility at 9. Earthdog at 10. Demolish a squeaky toy at 11. Lunch at noon. What's scheduled for the afternoon? 1 is scent work, 2 is canine musical freestyle and the bass is pumpin’!! Three is conformation, 4 is obedience and of course we’ll make our human look foolish, then it’s time for rally at 5. Dinner, then five laps around the park down the road, demolish another squeaky toy, and crash for the night. After snacks, of course!
Newfoundland: A leisurely day at the lake, preferably with several humans who appear to need rescuing. And of course, a goodly amount of slobber to make them feel appreciated.
Chihuahua: Declare National Dog Week a national holiday and rename it National Chihuahua Week. Frankly, it's about time the country recognized who's actually in charge.
Great Dane: Take over the entire sofa. Not a section of it. Not one cushion. The sofa. Celebrations will commence as soon as someone brings snacks. At bedtime, take over the entire bed. Not a section of it. Not one pillow. The BED!
Dachshund: Spend the week digging an elaborate underground celebration venue, then refuse to come out when the party starts.
Australian Shepherd: Herd the children, supervise the adults, reorganize the other dogs and spend the evening wondering why nobody around here can follow simple instructions.
And what would your breed choose? A week at the beach? A seven-day dog show? Unlimited squirrel chasing? A private steak dinner followed by sleeping diagonally across a king-sized bed?
Can I ask you a favor? Ask your dog and let me know what they say. Something tells me they've already planned the entire week—and we're paying for it.
Wagalicious Wisdom 🐾
Every dog believes it's National Dog Week every single week. Maybe they're onto something.
