How to Build Boundaries Against a Verbal Bully - Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites Podcast

Do you have a family member, friend, or coworker who argues with your feelings? Think about that for a minute – they argue with your feelings.

How rude is that?

When you open up and tell them how you feel and they say something like, “well, I said that in the heat of the moment and you know I didn’t mean it, so why are you so mad?” that is called invalidation. They’re telling you that they don’t believe you have the right to feel the way you feel and you need to get over yourself.

Play this out in your head – what would they do and say if the roles were reversed and you invalidated their feelings? You can bet they’d slap back at you like a cornered feral cat. And I bet you don’t behave anything like that, do you?

How do I know? Because people who invalidate the feelings of others choose their victims carefully. This verbal bullying behavior is done to people who tend to be passive and who don’t set or enforce boundaries.

Today, think about what you can say to that person who is in the habit of telling you how you should feel. Decide on something you can say, and practice it when you’re alone, as if you’re talking to them. Maybe something like, “I told you how I feel, and my feelings are true and real and are not up for debate.”

If you can say that calmly and powerfully each time you’re invalidated, it won’t be long before the offender quits picking on you.

PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing