Your Passive-Aggressive Co-Worker Needs You to Know This - Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites Podcast

Someone you work with being passive aggressive? You know the drill…long silences, exaggerated eye rolls, and letting sarcasm drip from innocent-sounding words.

Those are all clues that your co-worker wants you to know how they feel…they just don’t want to have to tell you.

Most of the time, passive aggressive people don’t know how to calmly talk about their feelings because they’ve spent a lifetime of having their feelings invalidated by the people who raised them. Instead of getting angry at their passive aggressive behavior, and instead of trying to fight fire with fire, try to help them. You don’t have to diagnose or treat them, just try to give them space and grace. Instead of getting angry, get calm and curious, and be clear about how their behavior feels to you.

“Wow, it feels like you’re frustrated with me, and what you just said to me stung. Did you mean to hurt my feelings or are you trying to get my attention?”

Give them a question with only two possible answers, and if they try to go with choice #3, bring them back to your question. When you approach them with clear, caring questions, they’re more likely to open up honestly.

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