How We Hurt Ourselves - Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites

Have you ever had to cut someone out of your life?

That’s a hard decision to come to, and if it’s one you’ve been through, you know there are two hard parts to doing it: the actual event, and the feelings you have about doing it.

Once upon a time a boyfriend who had some of his things in my house hit me. I knew he wasn’t Mr. Forever, though I never dreamed he would be Mr. Physical Abuser. I called a close friend – yes, the one who had every right to say “I told you so” though she never did – and she and I put all of his belongings out in the front yard while the locksmith re-keyed the locks. Though the relationship was over, I felt bad for a long time. I second-guessed my choice in men, my boundaries, and even how I’d handled moving him out.

Those aftermath feelings can be as toxic as the relationship.

If you find yourself having to cut someone out of your life, here’s a sentence that might help you: you made decisions, you acted on those decisions, and when you learned more, you made new decisions. Every decision you’ve made has been valid and has added something, even if it’s just wisdom, to your life.

Now, make the decision to move on knowing you did the best you could.

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