The Value in NOT Keeping the Peace - Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites

I was raised by a wonderful woman who unintentionally taught me a lesson that didn’t serve me, just as it didn’t serve her very well.

People loved her – I can’t count the number of times I heard, “your mom is so kind – butter wouldn’t even melt in her mouth.” It’s true that she very rarely said a bad thing about anyone because she did look for the best motives in even the worst events. That’s a good habit to get into and will help you feel calmer and more at ease in the world.

The companion habit – biting your tongue to keep the peace – isn’t so good, even though it might seem to be helpful. Not voicing an opinion about something that matters to you is a double-edged sword: you hurt yourself by not speaking up, and you hurt the relationship between you and the person you’re not speaking up to by not showing them who you really are. If you’re afraid they won’t like you, consider this: they already don’t like you, they like the fictional person you’re showing them.

You’re allowed to have opinions and feelings and desires – have them and share them, because that makes it more likely that you’ll live them.

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