Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites - How to Win a No-Win Situation

Several years ago, I learned that my marriage was over. It was an unexpected, eye-opening experience. A friend who knew us both well made a comment that struck a chord when she said, “you focused on what you loved about him, and he focused on what he didn’t love about you.”

Maybe you’ve been in a relationship like that before, too?

When you find yourself in a friendship, work relationship or love relationship with someone who disapproves of some aspects of you, whether they do it aloud or just in the privacy of their own head, you’re in a no-win position. You can try as hard as you want and you still won’t be able to change the way they’re choosing to focus. This is their life-long pattern and only they can choose to view the world differently.

You can’t make that choice for them.

What you can do is decide how much the relationship means to you and what your life would look like without that person in it. You might choose to leave, or you might choose to stay and just invest less of yourself in the other person. It’s your life, so it’s your choice.

Give yourself permission to be the driver, not the passenger, and you won’t have the same eye-opening experience that I did with the wasband.

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