Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites - Finding Compassion for a Jerk

Did someone cause you pain? It might have been emotional pain or physical pain, and it hurt. A lot. It’s tempting to want to get back at them, or to defend yourself or explain your side of the story to others.

Tempting, and for your wellbeing, please resist the temptation.

The desire for revenge is a deep-seated human desire that lights up the same place in our brains that being rewarded lights up. That means that it feels good to think about exacting revenge, and might even feel good in the moment that we get sweet revenge. After that, though, if you’re like most people you’ll keep thinking about how they wronged you and how you got back at them, and when you do that you’ll be stuck in the pain.

Take that need to explain or defend or get back at the person who wronged you and put it to constructive, not destructive use. Grow yourself emotionally. Find a little bit of compassion for that person.

After all, it’s hurt people who hurt people, so they’re broken in some way. You didn’t break them and can’t fix them, so feel some compassion for their wounds as you keep them at arm’s length so they can’t hurt you again.

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