Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites - Why Explaining Yourself Backfires

Do you know that it’s ok to say “no” and stop right there?

It’s perfectly ok to want to help when someone asks you to, evaluate the request, realize that it will take too much time or too much energy or too much whatever, and say “no.” You don’t need to give a reason for your answer.

Reasons don’t matter anyway, and feel like excuses to the other person. Even worse, if the other person really wants your help, they can use your reasons against you, defusing them one by one until you’re boxed into doing something you don’t want to do. And knowing you and your kind heart, you’ll do it, hopefully without beating yourself up about it.

If you can suggest a person better equipped to fulfill the request, by all means suggest them. If a request feels like something you can’t or don’t want to do, don’t do it. And don’t explain why, either.

“No” is a complete sentence that will serve you and your mental wellbeing very very well.

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